Five secrets to facing your fears

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Wellness visionary & inspirational speaker, author of Let Your Fears Make You Fierce, & Founder of The Get Loved Up Community. My core mission is to promote daily self-care, oneness & eco-friendly living.

Hi, I'm Koya


Fear. Something we’ve all faced at one point or another. We tend to use fear as something that holds us back and prevents us from doing and going after what we really want to do. There is so much that comes up in our minds that tells us we aren’t supposed to be doing what we seek. Or that we will fail should we attempt to do the big things. None of which are necessarily true. Even these thoughts are rooted in fears. The key is to tap into the sweet spot of breaking away from fears and going after what you truly want in order to thrive in all areas of your life. This blog is to encourage each of us to be more courageous, pushing beyond our fears and doing what scares us to accomplish amazing things. We will review five key points that teach us to use fear as a tool any time it tries to get in our way.


-Get Out Of Your Head

When thinking of fear one of the major tools that has helped me along my journey was being able to get out of my own head. Sometimes our mind, thoughts, feelings, and emotions \ make us act from a place of fear instead of a place of love. We spend a ton of time in our heads which causes us to miss the moment in front of us, opportunities, and even signs from the universe signaling to us that all is well. When we’re in our heads, we tend to be over-thinking or focused on unfavorable thoughts and situations we don’t want to formulate into our physical reality. The good news is that there are so many ways we can get out of our head and deactivate our fears! 


Let’s look at a few of my favorite techniques:


-Journaling: Cultivating a daily journaling practice that reviews your day can help you put what really happened on paper versus any fears that your mind has come up with. Journaling is a great way to declutter your mental space and even focus on intentions you wish to set for yourself.  Journaling can also be a nice reflective practice that tracks your daily progress so that you have tangible results instead of your mind telling you that you may not be doing something. Should you not consider yourself the best free-hand writer, there are many journals that focus on prompts for you to respond to, and you can also find interesting prompts on both Pinterest and Instagram. Now that we live in the digital era, you don’t have to write strictly in a journal unless you want to, you can use your phone to your advantage and note anything that comes up when you feel it is important to write down, no matter how big or small it may be.


-Thought Download: Similar to journaling, thought downloads are very beneficial to declutter your mind and help you to see what thoughts are coming up that are helpful towards your progression or thoughts you may want to choose to remove from your mind. I recommend de-cluttering in the morning shortly after you wake up. You can start to notice your thought patterns of what serves you and what thoughts are fear-based. Thought downloads are simply a practice of recording any and all thoughts that you can think of onto paper to help you visually see that some of the 12,000- 60,000 thoughts you think aren’t all facts. Just because you think something, it doesn’t make it real and you have the power to change any thought you don’t want to have. You just have to first understand that you control your mind and can make the choice to decide what thoughts you no longer want to have.


-Mindfulness Activities: Engaging in mindfulness activities such as meditation, yoga, and breathwork can also help to get you out of your head. Taking time with any physical activity that requires your focus to be on what you’re doing and not any fears you may have. Mindfulness activities bring you into the present moment which can calm and center you; thus putting you in a place fear cannot thrive. 


-Social Media Detox: Sometimes fear tends to fester in situations that we put ourselves in without realizing they may be harmful or damaging to our spirit and wellbeing. With social media, it can be easy to get suckered into following pages that are trendy but cause fear in thinking that we are not where we need to be. I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase: ‘’comparison is the thief of joy’’, but comparison of another person’s journey also causes fear. Allow yourself to take breaks from social media to conserve your mental health’s battery and unfollow pages that don’t make you feel good and/or heighten your fears.


-Step Outside Of Your Comfort Zone

If no one else has told you today, your comfort zone is where your fear is flourishing. It is creating the narrative that you ‘’cannot’’, ‘’should not’’, ‘’will not’’, ‘’aren’t worthy of’’ or ‘’deserving of’’ something. If you buy into this belief, your fear can keep you from doing something completely incredible because it is keeping you boxed into your comfort zone. It’s time to step outside of your comfort zone. Take a moment to think of all the phenomenal things you’ve done when you pushed yourself just a little bit. Most likely magic happened after that push. The unfortunate thing is a lot of the world doesn’t make this push for themselves. They do so for their jobs, for their families, or organizations, but they don’t step outside their comfort zone so they can see exactly what they’re made of and what they can do. The more you’re programming your mind to try new experiences, you are overcoming any fears you had about the issue. From my experience, when doing the things I am afraid to do, I find out that they’re not as bad as my fears made them out to be. Another tip I have would be to make a to-do list of all the things that scare you, then you can add one to your daily tasks and do that one first. 


-Live Without Limitations

After you step outside of your comfort zone and begin to push yourself more each day to do what your fears tell you to hold back from, begin to see yourself without limitations. Think, what would you accomplish if there weren’t any barriers or fears holding you back? Try to come up with more solutions instead of excuses as to why you can’t do what it is that you really want to. If you have fears of swimming, get yourself in classes with an instructor who you feel comfortable to guide you. If you want to begin your entrepreneurial journey but are afraid to leave your current job, begin it as a side hustle until you work your way up to having it be your main career. If you want to move to a new state but are scared of not knowing anyone there, join meet-up groups in that state with like minded people who have your shared interests. Whatever your current limits are now, begin to see yourself removing them and how your life transforms for the better once they are no longer an issue.


-Surround Yourself With What Encourages You

Another way to eliminate your fears would be to create an environment that has tools and people who encourage you to do what you want to do and to move past your fears. Almost everything in life takes a village and a tribe to become great. When you’re finding your community of beautiful individuals, be sure to notice how they make you feel. Are they feeding your fears and filling your brain with more doubt and worry or are they pushing you past what scares you and encouraging you along the way? Use your discernment as a compass to navigate who should be in your circle and who shouldn’t be. The same process you use with creating your circle, you should use with creating your surroundings that make you less fearful. Tools like music, art, nature, and my personal practices are examples of what helps cultivate my space to help me move beyond my fears and thrive in all areas.


-Just Do It

Nike may have been on to something when they made their motto ‘’just do it’’. When you just do something, you don’t give yourself time to talk yourself out of it or overthink. You simply just act. I encourage you to act and do whatever feels right and healthy for you and your circumstances and to not give your fears a voice. 

Fears are typically associated with anxiety. The following are brands that may be helpful resources to help overcome fears and work to combat any anxieties you may have:


Insight Timer: Insight Timer is a popular meditation and mindfulness app known for its large community of users and a variety of features.

Check out my happy place meditation!


Calm is a popular app that provides meditation, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques to help users manage stress and anxiety.

Calm App


Similar to Calm, Headspace offers guided meditation sessions and mindfulness exercises to promote mental wellbeing.

Headspace App

Rescue Remedy: 

This brand offers natural stress relief products, including flower essence blends and sprays designed to alleviate anxiety and promote a sense of calm.

Rescue Remedy Pearls



Talkspace is a platform that connects users with licensed therapists for online therapy sessions, providing a convenient way to address and manage fears and anxieties.

TalkSpace Self-Guided App



Thundershirt offers a calming garment for companion animals like dogs and cats to reduce their anxiety related to thunder, fireworks, separation, and other triggers.

Thundershirt for cats


Virtual Reality Exposure Therapy (VRET) Providers: Various brands and clinics offer virtual reality-based exposure therapy to help individuals confront and manage specific fears or phobias in a controlled environment.

Amelia – VR for Psychotherapy


Remember that while products and services can be helpful tools, it’s important to seek professional advice if fears and anxieties are significantly impacting your quality of life. These brands can complement therapeutic interventions, but they may not be a substitute for proper medical or psychological care.

In addition to these amazing brands, I too have curated a meditation app that has helped calm, center, ground, and overcome fears of those within my circle and the Get Loved Up community:


Self Love Meditations By Koya Webb:


To dive more deeply into works that can guide you into moving beyond your fears, I am including a series of books that may be helpful for your research:


“Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers: This classic self-help book offers practical advice and strategies to push through fear and live a more fulfilling life.

Feel the fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers 


“The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle: While not solely focused on fear, this book delves into mindfulness and presence, offering insights on how to reduce anxiety and fear by staying grounded in the present moment.

‘’The Power of Now’’ by Eckhart Tolle


“Daring Greatly” by Brené Brown: Brené Brown explores vulnerability and courage, showing how embracing vulnerability can help individuals overcome fear and shame.

Daring Greatly’’ by Brene Brown


“The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook” by Edmund J. Bourne: This workbook offers a comprehensive approach to understanding and managing anxiety and phobias, providing practical exercises and techniques.

‘’The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook’’ by Edmund J. Bourne


“Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach: Tara Brach offers guidance on how to embrace yourself and your fears with compassion and mindfulness, fostering self-acceptance and healing.

‘’Radical Acceptance’’ by Tara Brach


“The Worry Cure” by Robert L. Leahy: This book provides a cognitive-behavioral approach to understanding and managing worry, helping readers gain control over anxious thoughts and fears.

“The Worry Cure” by Robert L. Leahy


“Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm” by Thich Nhat Hanh: Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Zen master, offers insights and mindfulness practices for transforming fear into strength and clarity.

“Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm” by Thich Nhat Hanh


“Anxious for Nothing” by Max Lucado: Max Lucado explores how faith and spirituality can provide comfort and guidance in the face of fear and anxiety.

“Anxious for Nothing” by Max Lucado


“The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz: This book outlines four simple agreements that can help individuals free themselves from self-limiting beliefs and fears.

“The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz


“You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero: While not focused solely on fear, this motivational book empowers readers to let go of self-doubt and fear, embracing their inner strengths.

“You Are a Badass” by Jen Sincero


My hope is that you’ve gained some insight, reconfirmation, and tools that will help you conquer your fears and achieve all that you want in your life. Life is too short to base decisions on fears and move from a fearful perspective. I encourage you to move with love and finally quiet the fears that have been holding you back.


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